Happy Australia Day, guys (in half an hour, 26th of January)! Chuck a lamb chop on the barby, put on your thongs (flip-flops), wife beater singlets and fishing hats and crack open the Tia Maria. And just ignore the fact that John Howard, in his infinite wizdom, has chosen Eric Abetz as senator for conservation... it's the biggest oxymoron since Military Intelligence...

The following are some words from "Slamming" Sam Kekovich, a brilliant Australian mind:

My fellow Australians, the incidents of un-Australian behaviour over the past year is enough to make me choke on my lamb chops, and it was all down to one thing: Not enough lamb.
For example, Australian models' holidaying in Asia would've gotten a lot less coverage if they carried a couple of lamb chops in their handbags. Lamb could've prevented the boofheads perpetrating violence on our beaches, it's bloody hard to bash someone with a cutlet. And we might not have lost the Ashes if our cricketers picked up lamb chops, instead of mobile phones. Why on Earth did they dispatch lurid text messages to English trollops, when plenty of Aussie sheilas would gladly take at their middle stump?
Yet as mishaps have spread across the land, like bird flew through a Chinese chicken coup, what were we doing about it? Bugger all. It's time to remind ourselves of what lies at the core of our national identity: A lamb chop on a barby.
Being Australian doesn't mean you have to call the opposition captain a wanker, even if he is! Or smother everything in tomato sauce, 'til it resembles an outpatient in a casualty ward. Or pull on a pair of budgie-smugglers, I'd prefer you didn't.
And you don't have to spend every Friday night on the piss 'til your best friend looks like Elle McPherson, throw up in a cap, then trip over the garden gnome before passing out on your front lawn. In fact, to be as Australian as I am, don your apron - mine says "Chopgun" -, whack some nice juicy lambchops on the barby, invite everyone over, if you can't pronounce their name, just call them "Mate", and celebrate living in the best bloody country on Earth.
So don't be un-Australian, serve lamb on Australia Day. You know it makes sense. I'm Sam Kekovich.

Here, here, Sam!

Peace,
Rotae