"Mmm. I'm totally with you on that. The idea of that kind of intimacy, of opening up to someone like that, to MY version of Draco, is utterly terrifying, and he need someone who will almost force him to face his fears, and work through them together."

BINGO. You hit it on the nose as far as I'm concerned.

"We had it out over whether Draco was taking the easy or the hard way out by not killing DD."

See...I've actually stalked out every quote Rowling herself ever made regarding the Malfoys, and I honestly can't conceive of how that question could be entertained in the first place...but I won't go there. :^P I don't have enough energy for it, LOL. Which sounds pathetic, I know, but I'm taking a semester off and seeing both medical specialists and a shrink for some pretty um compelling reasons....

Which leads me to the next thing:
"But her Draco isn't that traumatised" I can't conceive, either, of anyone not being traumatized by seeing and experiencing what he did. The strongest person in the world would carry SOME degree of damage from that, and anyone who has actually been traumatized THEMSELVES knows this--generally, it takes the same amount of time to get over something as the duration of the traumatic event. For Draco, if you want to argue that his life was perfection before Voldemort moved into the Manor (lol, *twitch* XDDD )then it would take about one to two years to move on. Then you add to that personal sensitivity--some people are more profoundly affected by the same trauma than others. For Heather, if he is not that traumatized. Hmm.. Well. I think this doesn't reveal much about Draco. What this actually shows is that, beyond the human woes that plague us all, Heather has been blessed (thank God!) with a very happy life and it reflects in her writing of characters that she loves. You and she can tell me that I overanalyze fiction, but really, Rowling went to great efforts to make psychologically believable characters...so...it would make sense to apply psychology TO them. And I will leave it at that. ;^)

That said, forcing Draco to take initiative is a brilliant concept on her part. Brilliant.