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The Tales of Beedle the Bard: see Epic
OMG YOU OMG NO SRSLY, OMG.
THE TALES OF BEEDLE THE BARD ARE FUCKING EPICCCCC. THERE IS MENTION OF MALFOYS ALDSKJF;LJDFL;AJDLFKJALDSJK INCLUDING LUCIUS ALSDJF;ALJDLFLADSFLASD;LKKJF
Influential wizards of the day, such as Brutus Malfoy, editor of Warlock at War, an anti-Muggle periodical, perpetuated the stereotype that a Muggle-lover was about as magical as a Squib. In 1675, Brutus wrote:
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'The Fountain of Fair Fortune' is probably the most popular of Beedle's tales, although, just like 'The Wizard and the Hopping Pot', it has its detractors. More than one parent has demanded the removal of this particular tale from the Hogwarts library, including, by coincidence, a descendant of Brutus Malfoy and one-time member of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Mr Lucius Malfoy. Mr Malfoy submitted his demand for a ban on the story in writing:
My refusal to remove the book from the library was backed by a majority of the Board of Governors. I wrote back to Mr Malfoy, explaining my decision:
This exchange marked the beginning of Mr Malfoy's long campaign to have me removed from my post as Headmaster of Hogwarts, and of mine to have him removed from his position as Lord Voldemort's Favourite Death Eater.
4 My response prompted several further letters from Mr Malfoy, but as they consisted mainly of opprobrious remarks on my sanity, parentage and hygiene, their relevance to this commentary is remote.
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And this was just something that made me LOL XDDDD
Though some six centuries has elapsed since Beedle wrote this tale, and while we have devised innumerable ways of maintaining the illusion of our loved ones' continuing presence, wizards still have not found a way of reuniting body and soul once death has occurred. As the eminent wizarding philosopher Bertrand de Pensées-Profondes writes in his celebrated work A Study into the Possibility of Natural Death, with Particular Regard to the Reintegration of Essence and Matter: 'Give it up. It's never going to happen.'
OMFG YOU GUYS. I'M GOING TO BE READING THESE FAIRY TALES TO MY KIDS BEFORE THEY GO ON TO READ HARRY POTTER. SRSLY. OMFGGGGGGGGG. They are SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH. I wish I knew them as a kid :( Bloody Ron. LOL XDDD
Now I'm going to have to draw Draco sneaking a look at these in the library because his Dad won't let him have them at home, LOLOLOL XDDDDDD
Lucius: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DRACO?!
Draco: Nothing!! >.> <.< ^^;
Lucius: ARE YOU READING THOSE FAIRY TALES AGAIN?!
Draco: No!!
Lucius: THAT'S IT. I'M WRITING TO DUMBLEDORE.
LOLOLOLOL. I ARE AMUSED XDDDD
Peace,
Rotae
THE TALES OF BEEDLE THE BARD ARE FUCKING EPICCCCC. THERE IS MENTION OF MALFOYS ALDSKJF;LJDFL;AJDLFKJALDSJK INCLUDING LUCIUS ALSDJF;ALJDLFLADSFLASD;LKKJF
Influential wizards of the day, such as Brutus Malfoy, editor of Warlock at War, an anti-Muggle periodical, perpetuated the stereotype that a Muggle-lover was about as magical as a Squib. In 1675, Brutus wrote:
This we may state with certainty: any wizard who shows fondness for the society of Muggles is of low intelligence, with magic so feeble and pitiful that he can only feel himself superior if surrounded by Muggle pigmen.
Nothing is a surer sign of weak magic than a weakness for non-magical company.
--
'The Fountain of Fair Fortune' is probably the most popular of Beedle's tales, although, just like 'The Wizard and the Hopping Pot', it has its detractors. More than one parent has demanded the removal of this particular tale from the Hogwarts library, including, by coincidence, a descendant of Brutus Malfoy and one-time member of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Mr Lucius Malfoy. Mr Malfoy submitted his demand for a ban on the story in writing:
Any work of fiction or non-fiction that depicts interbreeding between wizards and Muggles should be banned from the bookshelves of Hogwarts. I do not wish my son to be influenced into sullying the purity of his bloodline by reading stories that promote wizard-Muggle marriage.
My refusal to remove the book from the library was backed by a majority of the Board of Governors. I wrote back to Mr Malfoy, explaining my decision:
So-called pure-blood families maintain their alleged purity by disowning, banishing or lying about Muggles or Muggle-borns on their family trees. They then attempt to foist their hypocrisy upon the rest of us by asking us to ban works dealing with the truths they deny. There is not a witch or wizard in existence whose blood has not mingled with that of Muggles, and I should therefore consider it both illogical and immoral to remove works dealing with the subject from our students' store of knowledge.4
This exchange marked the beginning of Mr Malfoy's long campaign to have me removed from my post as Headmaster of Hogwarts, and of mine to have him removed from his position as Lord Voldemort's Favourite Death Eater.
4 My response prompted several further letters from Mr Malfoy, but as they consisted mainly of opprobrious remarks on my sanity, parentage and hygiene, their relevance to this commentary is remote.
--
And this was just something that made me LOL XDDDD
Though some six centuries has elapsed since Beedle wrote this tale, and while we have devised innumerable ways of maintaining the illusion of our loved ones' continuing presence, wizards still have not found a way of reuniting body and soul once death has occurred. As the eminent wizarding philosopher Bertrand de Pensées-Profondes writes in his celebrated work A Study into the Possibility of Natural Death, with Particular Regard to the Reintegration of Essence and Matter: 'Give it up. It's never going to happen.'
OMFG YOU GUYS. I'M GOING TO BE READING THESE FAIRY TALES TO MY KIDS BEFORE THEY GO ON TO READ HARRY POTTER. SRSLY. OMFGGGGGGGGG. They are SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH. I wish I knew them as a kid :( Bloody Ron. LOL XDDD
Now I'm going to have to draw Draco sneaking a look at these in the library because his Dad won't let him have them at home, LOLOLOL XDDDDDD
Lucius: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DRACO?!
Draco: Nothing!! >.> <.< ^^;
Lucius: ARE YOU READING THOSE FAIRY TALES AGAIN?!
Draco: No!!
Lucius: THAT'S IT. I'M WRITING TO DUMBLEDORE.
LOLOLOLOL. I ARE AMUSED XDDDD
Peace,
Rotae
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I wish I had a million bucks (...or 100) to buy the fancy copy. ;_;
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THREE CHEERS FOR YET MORE CONFIRMATION FOR MY THEORY THAT THE MALFOY ANCESTORS ALL HAVE ROMAN-BASED NAMES. XDXD
Also, I want Lucius to have a trophy in his cabinet with a little plaque saying "Lord Voldemort's Favourite Death Eater 1991-1994".
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Also, I keep having this bizarre thought that it's called 'Tales of the Beetle Bard', and an image of a little bug with the voice of Ringo Starr telling the stories. That'd be kinda cool.
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I am so excited! Love JKR.
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birdysnaky may have told me about this post because of the Lucius/Malfoys thing. And I only have this to say:AFHSFASFD, AHAHAHA LUCI ILU XDDD
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I MUST GET THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY/HANUKKAH OR I WILL DIE.
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